Moments

In moments

I have peace

In moments

I feel fine

in moments

I am so angry

I could tear the world 

In two

In moments

I am hopeful

for the future

and seeing you again

In moments

I am screaming

How unfair

How stupid

Why us

In moments

I pull myself together

I realize it is bigger

I know you are fine

I know 

But

In moments

I am human

I am pain

I am broken

You are gone

Dear Mom

Dear Mom

You’re gone

How incredibly stupid

As if you

could be

gone

Why

I don’t know

what I am

without you

Lost

I guess

I do know

I Feel

The following three posts are a series of poems I wrote a month and ten days after losing my mother to cancer. She had been fighting for a few years, and it finally took her from us on Dec 5th 2014. It has been a year, 4 months and 26 days and I still hurt and I miss her everyday, but I feel like I am finally crawling out of the darkness and I'm ready to start living again. I'm finally ready to share these moments of pain and confusion with the world. 

I feel

ok

terrible

miserable

In a moment

I am fine

I 

am

gone

You are

Everywhere and Nowhere

I think

about you

around you

without you

you

you

you

I cannot stop

the pain

the moment

the missing

And then

I am ok

I forget

I am not ok

I laugh

I smile

hope

future

life

And then

I am not

I am broken

I forget 

I can

laugh

smile

hope

Up

Down

Here

Gone

I am

ok

and not

ok