Scarred

Here is another poem. It's been awhile. Did anyone tell you that grad school was going to be hard? Guess I didn't get the memo, lol. Anyway, working on my thesis, so poetry gets put on the back burner a bit, but the other day I had some time at work and busted this little depressing gem out. Enjoy.

Scarred

Love haunts every part of me
Its absence is louder than I've ever heard
My heart feels hollowed out
And pushed
From every side, crumbling
I am desperate
To fill cracks and mend holes

Love is not real in me
A character in a book, or an imaginary friend
I hope it's there
I dream
But it has never laid a hand on me
I have never felt
The rush and the sting of love

I know only the empty ache
The pain and desperation of not love
I am an outsider
Only watching
While others live and fall
I feel only the bitter nothingness
Of never having tasted love

I am laid desperately bare
Begging for a thing I can only feel
In bits of others' dialogue
In glances
Only others share
I leech, sucking love from other souls
It never reaches mine

Their love never touches my heart
I am merely an observer
A facade of reflected smiles
I am empty
Underneath it all, I am untouched
And somehow I am still
Scarred by love